Sorry it has been so long. Someone ;) asked the other day to make sure I am keeping up with this. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it, in fact I have been thinking a lot. That is what this post is all about. I just personally like posts with pictures. So, for those of you like me sorry, no pictures this time just the thoughts in my head.
My Job: The past few weeks I have been going through training. I can't begin to tell you how extremely impressed I am with Bright Horizons! Four years ago when I started working in the real world of Early Childhood Education. I came to believe that all those things I learned in college and all those dreams I had of what my classroom would look like and be like only happened in a Utopian society. I was ready to give up on my dream of teaching. However, I have come to learn that dreams do come true. There are Early Childhood settings that are child driven. Where teachers are reminded to ask the question "Why not?" instead of just saying this is the way it's done. Bright Horizons is a place where children are encouraged to be themselves and do what they like to do. Therefore, we have few behavior issues and a lot of learning going on. Here the teachers are told constantly that they are at the top of the hierarchy and treated like so. I am having to change my old ways of thinking and it has been challenging for me, but in a good way. I have the job of my dreams! I feel so blessed to have found it! My dream is that one day all educational experiences will be this great! Any other teachers feeling burnt out?
Church: Well, Patrick and I are still searching for a church we can call home here in St. Louis. We have have found those that we like pieces and parts of. We know we will never find the perfect church and that church isn't all about us. However, Patrick told me something that really made me think today. He said when he looks for a good church he thinks, what if I were not a Christian and this Sunday was my only time ever going to church. Would I want to come back? Wow, honestly I got to say that if I weren't already a Christian I would not want to go to church. Let me be honest, I am a Christian, and I haven't wanted to go to church in a while. Right now God gets praised more in my prayers and quiet times. I feel him in a Indelible Grace song, or a conversation with family/friends/Patrick. I felt him at women's night (Man I miss you girls). What are your thoughts on this?
Lessons God is Teaching Me: So, there is one church, where I really like the preaching part of it. The pastor recently talked about realizing how much you need Christ and what he did for you. Therefore, I have been praying that God would help me to see my sin more and hate it more, so that I can value him like I should.
In talking to a 2ND year seminary student one night I was reminded of the verse in James, Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins. We were talking about hard conversations to have with people and how we shouldn't avoid them. That verse came to mind and I was given a new understanding of its meaning. I want to not shy away from those hard conversations.
Finally, pray for me as I am trying to decide if I should go ahead and get my masters in Educational Ministries. With talking to other women I know that it is next to impossible to do it while working a full time job. I am also intimidated by graduate level courses, not to mention the fact that I have no desire to go back to school. I can't help but feel like I should (God?). I just need to make the choice and ask for the strength if it is God's will.
What is God teaching you?
I leave you with another verse God has been placing on my heart: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Creating a Diabetic Weight Loss Plan
12 years ago
Dara,
ReplyDeleteI love you and your honesty. God is teaching me so much lately. Mostly about His amazing love, grace, and mercy and my gross sinfulness. Espicially since I've been reading through the Bible this year and am on schedule with it. The fasting & prayer I did a few weeks ago was a real good time for the Lord to break a few strong holds that I've been struggling with for years... And then He gave me the job that I desired, but didn't even look or ask for. Looking for the right Church is always a hard thing. There are always going to be bits & pieces that don't seem to be where you are compfortable. Joe Novenson used to always say "Go outside your sphere of compfort." Maybe you should view it kind of like you did with your job situation and ask, Why Not? You can not put God in a box. He is so much more, His thoughts, ways, and thinking, is way more than what our little minds can begin to imagine. First and foremost for me is Truth & LOVE. Does the pastor & teachers preach&teach the reformed docternal Truths of the inerrent Word of God in Love. Do they point me in the right direction? The rest for me is optional. I find that my attitude before I get to church and my personal relationship with Jesus impacts whether or not I "feel" worshipful during Church & not how the service goes. Did I meet Jesus before I got there and during the week? Did I worship him at home or in the car, "as I am "going along" in my daily activities do I have a prayful mindset, "A Christ awareness". What can I give - not get from Church. Then I ask myself what can I sacrifice or contribute, what can I give to further God's Kingdom. I only have myself and I am His, so I can only give my sin with a broken contrite heart, in gratitude & worship, that I am underservedly forgiven.(see Psalm 51 esp 10-17).. I've also been reading Oswald Chambers. If you have a copy of " My utmost for His highest" read August 3. Part of it says, "We are not taken into a conscious agreement with God's purpose-we are taken into God's purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God's goal may be; as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague. God's aim appears to have missed the mark, because we are too nearsighted to see the target at which HE is aiming. At the begining of the Christian life, we have our own ideas as to what God's purpose is. We say, "God means for me to go over there,"and, "God has called me to do this special work." We do what we think is right and yet the compelling purpose of God remains upon us.....then skip to Aug 5.... "As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say," I wonder why God allowed this or that? And we begin to see that the complelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trusts in the knowlege and wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God... Then read Aug 7. (All of Aug is good!!) I didn't mean to preach and you are so far ahead of where I was spiritually at your young age. As far as the decision to get your masters, I say go for it and see if God's purpose is for you to have it!!! Of course you know I think you should and if I could have I would have. I'm doing my own blogging now!
I love you and miss you much, Mom